


Normal

by cigarettestainedeyes



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-11
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-19 05:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/879783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cigarettestainedeyes/pseuds/cigarettestainedeyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What should have happened when Ian tried to leave for the army. Ian was clearly done with Mickey's bullshit. This was usually the point in their back-and-forth where Mickey had to do something he didn't want to do. Like admit that he was wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Normal

**Author's Note:**

> Had this in my docs for months, wanted it out finally so I rushed the ending. I was going to make it longer but I've got so many unfinished fics I didn't want to add another. Forgive me and enjoy this abrupt one-shot. I really liked how it was going, the rhythm that I felt while writing it reminded me of why I love spending so much time on a fic.

Mickey didn’t usually hang out around Kash and Grab anymore. He was mostly holed up in his room ashing out one cigarette after another, or running to the liquor store to buy more booze. His new wife made enough money fucking nearly every married man in town to supply his habits for the time being and, all in all, Mickey figured he could fuck around for a few more months before he had to get his shit together. Eventually he would have to find a job at some factory around the outskirts of town in order to get his dad off his back. He hated the thought and remembered how easy it had been working security at Kash and Grab. The only other options he had were dealing drugs or pimping chicks and he was sick of winding up in prison. Mickey was so angry he had let things between him and Ian escalate. Emotions had gotten in the way of everything.

However, he wasn’t hanging around the store for nostalgia. He wasn’t even hoping to see Ian inside because he knew for a fact Ian didn’t work Thursdays. This was all done with intention. Mickey knew Ian would walk right by the alley he was standing in because there was only one way Ian could walk to get to the local recruiting office and he figured he had one last shot to do...anything.

Truthfully he hadn’t thought of a single good idea aside from walking out the front door of his house that morning. His feet had gotten him to the store by habit. It was the same path he’d walk with Ian every time they would go to work together, occasionally bumping shoulders, throwing jabs and talking about anything that crossed their minds. It had all felt so nice and _normal_ that Mickey knew it couldn’t last forever. And fuck, if he hadn’t been right.

Mickey tried not think about it too much as he waited. He didn’t dare move, didn’t light one cigarette as he watched for Ian to walk by. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if he would say anything. Mickey stared at the ground as people bustled by and didn’t look up once because Gallagher’s height and hair were unmistakable and he’d see him in the corner of his eye. He didn’t want to draw any attention to himself in case he decided to bolt.

Mickey figured maybe he just had to see the kid, just see his face, his neck, his fingers, his shoes; there was no more time left to say anything and Mickey didn’t know if he wanted to ruin it by even trying.

He noticed Gallagher right away, just like he anticipated. Mickey felt like his whole body jolted but in reality he merely shifted slightly towards Ian before following shortly behind him. His entire body was shaking. He didn’t know his brain had given his feet permission to move. Adrenaline flooded through him and he felt high. Mickey figured that once he saw Ian, he would turn around and walk away, not immediately start following him but the feelings he had, no matter how buried they were, demanded Mickey to try.

Ian felt a presence and turned quicker than Mickey had expected. He reached out and just barely got a hold of Ian’s arm, twisting it behind the backpack he was wearing. Before things got too intense he shoved Ian into a side alley and let him go fast, but not before shoving him further towards the dead end, then holding his arms out to show he was surrendering.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Ian shouted at him, keeping his distance but pacing angrily. “I don’t got time for this shit.” He glared at Mickey who just stared at him with the same wide, unforgiving stare he always would give Ian when he didn’t know what to say.

Ian physically watched Mickey deflate a little. His eyes squinted up a bit and his face softened but not in a content way. It was more of a lost, concerned sort of look that only riled Ian up more. He opened his mouth to start yelling some more.

“You remember how fucking short you used to be?” Mickey blurted out before Ian had a chance to talk, his voice thick and muddled.

Ian stood still and waited. He knew he had to be patient because Mickey didn’t normally say things, he never said _anything_. Mickey’s eyes flickered from his to the ground and then back up. He watched Mickey scratch the side of his mouth and noticed that his jaw was suddenly rigid and straight, like he is holding something back.

Ian couldn’t breathe.

“You used to be so easy to push around...” Mickey’s voice was wavering and he was officially looking over Ian’s shoulder. It hurt so much and Ian could feel it run through his whole body and he didn’t even know what it was. “So easy to shove and grab...” Mickey rubbed a hand over his face, almost looked frustrated.

“Then you suddenly...” He kept stopping and it was driving Ian insane. This time it looked like Mickey was going to run away. He was turning away from Ian, looking down the sidewalk like it was looking better and better.

Ian should have pushed past Mickey and flipped him off, maybe kicked him in the groin before slipping away but he stood still. All that was running through his mind was what Mickey had said to him before he got married. _Not everybody just gets to blurt out how they feel every fucking minute._ He was finally saying something.

“Got so big.” Mickey shrugged slightly, a slight jerk of his shoulder, his head turning and his gaze finding Ian again. “You just became this thing I couldn’t ignore anymore.” His eyes flickered around Ian’s face, then the space around him.

Ian watched Mickey watch him. His eyes flashed towards Mickey’s hand and he spotted the wedding band, the ugly gold ring that made Ian want to punch Mickey in the jaw over and over. Ian straightened up and met Mickey’s gaze.

“I’m done playing games, Mickey. You got married.” Ian stated this like it something new but Mickey was so sick of hearing it everywhere he went. He exhaled deeply. “It’s not like I’m in love with her.” He said thickly. “I don’t even like her.”

“No?” Ian cocked his head to the side. “Okay?” He shrugged in a nonchalant way, as if he didn’t care anymore. Mickey hated the way Ian was looking at him, empty and voided. He knew Ian was faking it because the kid couldn’t help letting his emotions show but it still hit Mickey in the stomach, made him worry for the first time that Ian was really leaving.

Everything before had just seemed like a big practical joke.; Ian talking about the army, training, even showing up out of the blue to see Mandy and barely telling Mickey he was leaving in the first place, it had all seemed like a game.

Now Ian had a backpack and a menacing glare and was headed for a bus that would take him very far away.

And Mickey couldn’t take it.

Mickey licked his bottom lip before letting his teeth pull and pick at it for a minute as he anxiously stared at Ian. “I don’t...” Mickey faltered but only for a second before the words slipped out and they sounded like they were being punched from his body. “Don’t go.” He waited, Ian could see the tension in his shoulders as Mickey watched him. His cheeks were inflamed, but only slightly and he wouldn’t meet Ian’s eyes.

“I don’t know what you thought you were going to gain by coming here but I’m not your bitch.” Ian spat.

Mickey finally met the other’s eyes and the anger he saw flaring there was so prominent that it made him nervous. 

“I married that girl.” Mickey started, pausing just to give Ian enough time to looked shocked that he was even speaking in the first place. Finally, Mickey managed to meet Ian’s eyes right as he continued. “But I want you.”

Ian couldn’t breathe. His stance relaxed slightly; now he didn’t look like he was about to run off as each second passed. Ian let his backpack slide off his shoulders and drop onto the ground. He stared at some scattered trash along the alleyway, trying to process.

“I want you and it’s scaring the shit outta me.” Mickey continued shakily. “I’m a fucking mess but...” He finally looked away from Ian even though the ginger wasn’t making eye contact. He looked around, as if scrambling to find the words. Now that he was talking about how he felt, everything was bubbling to the surface and spilling over the sides. He couldn’t stop and it was all coming out at once. “You make everything good. I don’t want to lose that.” Mickey stopped talking and scratched at his ear, staring at the ground with fixed interest.

“I make everything good?” Ian prompted, waiting for him to continue.

Mickey waited because he heard footsteps. Someone was walking by the alley and tension seeped into Mickey’s sense of honesty. He waited, holding his breath. Ian waited too and eventually the footsteps faded away.

Mickey exhaled and looked back at Ian who had restored his gaze to Mickey. “There’s always so much drama and bullshit. This town is fucked but when it’s just you and me - “ Mickey pointed at them both respectively. “ - shit just calms down. I don’t want that to go away.”

Ian tried analyzing all of this and determining how he felt as quickly as possible. “So. You need me?” Ian asked plainly, a smile creeping onto his face that he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to.

“Only a ridiculous amount, asshole.” Mickey jeered. Ian narrowed his eyes. “So don’t fucking leave.” Mickey reverted his gaze back to the brick wall next to Ian and crossed his arms over his chest. He contemplated lighting a cigarette just so he’d have something to do with his hands.

“I signed up. I packed. I kissed Liam goodbye. And you chose now to tell me all of this?” Ian murmured thickly under his breath. Apparently he wasn’t going to be swayed easily.

“I’m an asshole!” Mickey shouted, shocking Ian with a jolt. “I’ve fucked up everything and created a shitstorm of a problem and I have no idea how to handle it!” He paused, wiped the corner of his mouth where it started shaking. All of his emotions were exploding and Mickey wasn’t built for this. If he kept yelling, he’d break down. If he broke down, he usually ended up running. “But I think it can be fixed.”

MIckey marched up to Ian and grabbed at his collar, forcing their faces closer so Ian had no choice but to meet his eyes. “I dare you.” He spat. “To stay.” Ian searched his face for any signs of doubt. “Deal with this with me. I’m ready to handle shit. Over time.” Mickey added quickly, as if it was an afterthought.

At this, Ian shoved Mickey away. “It’s always about time with you, I’m sick of waiting.” He replied, anger tinging his voice.

MIckey came right back at him, grabbing his shoulder. “I won’t make you wait long. Just stay.” He repeated before sliding into Ian’s personal space, catching his mouth for a kiss.

Ian let Mickey try and apologize using just his mouth but only for a few seconds before breaking away. The look in Ian’s eyes was mainly furious, a little confused. “Don’t fuck with me.” Ian warned lowly. They both stared one another down. Finally, Ian shoved Mickey back roughly, did it a second time and Mickey felt the brick wall behind him, across the expanse of the alleyway. They were slotted together, hip to chest, in-between a boarded up window and an exposed pipe dripping filthy brown water into a puddle on the ground.

The cooling brick contrasted against the hot sun in the early morning light and there were sounds starting up around them, the tune of birds and car engines, the clank of metal gates sliding up for store fronts to open, the smell of baking bread from the convenience store down the block. Mickey let Ian inspect his expression. He didn’t move, even though the overwhelming panic of the impending public throttled down around him. Ian leaned forward, a hand sliding up MIckey’s neck and holding there for a moment before connecting their mouths in a soft kiss. Ian hadn’t even mean to be so chaste. He should be giving Mickey everything the boy had ever given him; hasty kisses, rough touches, dirty, filthy words.

Instead he didn’t move. He felt Mickey’s mouth, taut with tension, and he waited. Eventually, after what seemed like hours, the other boy relaxed, his jaw slacking and his lips softening. Ian pushed forward immediately and properly kissed Mickey, moving his mouth and licking so lightly that it caused Mickey’s breathing to waver.

“If I stay.” Ian had pulled back, mouth barely brushing Mickey’s. “You come out. You tell everyone. That’s my deal breaker. Maybe not right away, and I’ll help you. But you have to be willing to make steps towards not hating yourself so much.”

Mickey nodded, eyes flickering over the features of Ian’s face. “Yeah, yeah I can do that.”


End file.
